No, it’s not that on-again, off-again power couple Ben Affleck and Gwyneth Paltrow. In fact, the tabs’ new ““dads’’ are Roger Altman, a former Wall Street whiz, Treasury big and Clinton pal whose Washington career drowned in Whitewater, and David Pecker, a ““Hachette’’ man with a knack for making mags grow. Insiders (OK, OK, it was a press release) say Altman’s investment firm nabbed the tabs for a cool $300 million. And Pecker signed up because he got the equity stake he’s been hankering for.

The mags need help. Mainstream media have eaten their lunch (thanks, Monica and Bill!), and the Di death bombshell sparked a backlash against stalkerazzi. But Altman and Pecker are budgeting $50 million for advertising and will push into foreign countries and onto the Net. Will they rekindle readers’ passions? Enquiring minds–and Ben’s and Gwyneth’s–want to know.